Thank you for participating in our
Virtual Grieving Circle, June 6 & October 10
In this time of constant change and unprecedented loss, it's important that we create space to sit with and acknowledge our grief. Thank you for taking the time to do that.
We know that the pain and confusion of grief is heavy, and so is the work to pay attention to our grieving and healing journey. So, we've put together some resources that you might find helpful. COVID-19 has changed us, at least for now, but we still owe it to ourselves and one another to take our grief and healing seriously.
But we cannot talk about the loss we've endured due to COVID-19 without talking about the loss we have recently experienced due to racism and police brutality. So, I'm included articles/links related to that too.
There is no rushing grief. And sometimes we can't even understand it. In America, we are often taught to suppress the pain of grief, if not numb it, only to have it come up years later in what may be destructive ways. May you find the time and support you need for your daily walk, and may you find joy and gratitude along the way.
We know that the pain and confusion of grief is heavy, and so is the work to pay attention to our grieving and healing journey. So, we've put together some resources that you might find helpful. COVID-19 has changed us, at least for now, but we still owe it to ourselves and one another to take our grief and healing seriously.
But we cannot talk about the loss we've endured due to COVID-19 without talking about the loss we have recently experienced due to racism and police brutality. So, I'm included articles/links related to that too.
There is no rushing grief. And sometimes we can't even understand it. In America, we are often taught to suppress the pain of grief, if not numb it, only to have it come up years later in what may be destructive ways. May you find the time and support you need for your daily walk, and may you find joy and gratitude along the way.
Facilitators
Self-Care
- Call a trusted friend, pastor or counselor. Share with someone who will listen and care.
- Drink lots of water. Hydrate!
- Be with nature. Whether it's being near water or dry ground, nature helps us feel grounded.
- Take a bath. Allow yourself to relax and feel pampered.
- Sleep. It's okay to take a nap! Your mind, heart, and body have been through a lot. Take time to rest.
- Write. Journaling or poetry-writing have been proven to help lower blood pressure and bring clarity.
- Exercise. Sometimes it helps to get out of our mind by moving our body.
- Take a break from social media and the news. Block alerts, put a do not disturb message on your phone. Allow yourself to replenish by not always being connected.
- Establish/maintain boundaries. Say no in order to say yes to what really matters.
- Feel your emotions. Allow what you're feeling to be experienced rather than ignored. Embrace the heartache knowing that it will one day make space for something new. Don't wallow. Rather accept.
- Engage in art. Creative expression, even beyond writing, helps us process and honor ourselves and our experience.
Resources
Crisis Support
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-8255 (TALK); https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
National Crisis Text Line:
Text HOME to 741741; https://www.crisistextline.org/
Non-Emergency Mental Health Resources:
Find a therapist in your area: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
Additional Grief and Loss Resources
Grief.com, founded by David Kessler--the world’s foremost expert on grief and loss--offers a variety of support and resources.
https://grief.com/resources/
GriefShare offers seminars, support groups, and daily encouraging emails.
https://www.griefshare.org/
OptionB.Org is dedicated to helping you build resilience in the face of adversity—and giving you the tools to help your family, friends, and community build resilience, too.
https://optionb.org/
Hospice Foundation of America is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. HFA meets its mission by providing programs for professional development, public education and information; funding research, producing publications, and by providing information on issues related to advance care planning, hospice and palliative care, caregiving, and grief.
https://hospicefoundation.org/
Psychology Today publishes on the process of grief, and other related articles.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/grief
BLM Articles & Grief
"An Antiracist Poetry Poetry Reading List," Publishers Weekly, June 2020
"Let the World be a Black Poem: Poetry at a Time of Protest," LitHub, June 2020
"Whose Grief? Our Grief," GQ Magazine, June 2020
"Healing Resources for BIPOC Organizers & Allies Taking Action for Black Lives," June 2020
"An Eulogy for All the Black Boys Who Loved the Sky," Catapult Magazine, July 2019
"The Condition of Black Life is One of Mourning," The New York Times Magazine, June 2015
Articles/Podcasts on Grief
"Gregory Orr: Shaping Grief with Language," OnBeing, May 2020
"Grieving in the Time of COVID19," The Chicago School of Professional Psychology, May 2020
"Embodied: How COVID-19 Disrupts the Rituals of Death & Dying," WUNC 91.5, April 2020
"Healing words: poetry & the pandemic," WHYY PMS, April 2020
"David Kessler and Brene on Grief and Finding Meaning," Brene Brown: Unlocking Us," March 2020
Books to Help with Grief
When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chodron
Things That Join the Sea and the Sky, by Mark Nepo
Journey to the Heart, by Melody Beattie
Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief, by Martha Whitmore Hickman
A Grief Observed, by C.S. Lewis
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief, by David Kessler
The Grief Recovery Handbook, by John James
Prayers of Honoring Grief, by Pixie Lighthorse
Option B, by Sheryl Sandberg
(We intentionally didn't include links for the books as we hope that you will look for them at your local, independent bookstore.)
We are not endorsing any of these resources but rather sharing as an option for additional support,
should you find it helpful.
should you find it helpful.
Poems & Prayers
New Starting Point
by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer Today, I am fallen tree. I am deadwood. Surrender. I am don’t-try-to-rise. Today is a day to know what it is to fall, to be felled, to stay fallen. To say nothing. Today I am grateful for gravity that insists, Don’t try. I don’t try. I lose any certainty of where my body ends, where earth begins, lose myself in dark, loamy scent of disturbed and open dirt. There will be a day to rise, to stand, to grow new leaves that gather shine, to share. But today is a day to lie on the ground and lean into loss, say yes to confusion. to be torn apart, to listen, to know the only way to start again is from here. |
Breath & Tree of Life
by Terrance Hawkins Breath & Tree of Life, Hold us through every wave of grief, every rainstorm of sorrow, every wind of anger, and every moment of pain. Grant that we might somehow discover a tiny crease within the business to find deep rest. Grant that we might somehow discover a small opening within the sadness of this hour to find great laughter. Grant that we might somehow discover a crevice within the horrors of this pandemic to find unbelievable beauty. Grant that we might somehow discover a glitch in the matrix of this sorrow-inducing moment to find great joy! Return the wonder to our eyes. Return the song to our voices. Return the dancing our feet. Return the light to our hearts. Return the clarity to our vision. Return the joy to our souls. Return the smiles to our faces. Return the peace to our minds. Return the strength to our bodies. Return the purpose to our living. Amen. Asé. So be it. |
(both of these were shared during our time together)
A special thank you to co-facilitators:
Dr. T. Sharee Fowler
Community facilitator & Assistant Professor/Director
Nonprofit Management & Community Leadership Program at Salem College
Cara Hagen Gelber
Artist, educator, community organizer and a Department of Theatre and Dance,
Appalachian State University faculty member
Terrance Hawkins
Community organizer, speaker, and artist
Thanks to the counselors on hand:
Carla Kucinski
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Associate (LCMHCA)
Owner of Space to Heal Counseling and Wellness, PLLC
Dr. Shawn Ricks
Licensed Counselor
Owner of Wellspring Healing
And thank YOU for showing up, being present, and sharing brave space!
With love,
Jacinta
Dr. T. Sharee Fowler
Community facilitator & Assistant Professor/Director
Nonprofit Management & Community Leadership Program at Salem College
Cara Hagen Gelber
Artist, educator, community organizer and a Department of Theatre and Dance,
Appalachian State University faculty member
Terrance Hawkins
Community organizer, speaker, and artist
Thanks to the counselors on hand:
Carla Kucinski
Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor Associate (LCMHCA)
Owner of Space to Heal Counseling and Wellness, PLLC
Dr. Shawn Ricks
Licensed Counselor
Owner of Wellspring Healing
And thank YOU for showing up, being present, and sharing brave space!
With love,
Jacinta