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"Today's grieving circle was so very beautiful and necessary--I can't thank you enough for the good work you do. I was a little afraid to participate, having finally gotten my feet on solid ground just yesterday and fearing I would de-rail again, but the group turned out to be the perfect place to be today."
- a participant from the June 6 VGC |
In this time of constant change and unprecedented loss, it's important that we create space to share our grief. Not as a way to fix anything or to give advice, but as a brave step to honor our loss and the grieving process. I hope that you will join me, along with others, in this soul care.
We are each grieving the changes brought about due to COVID-19. How we grieve the death of a loved one has changed. We find ourselves grieving "normalcy" and life pre-COVID. Some of us have lost work and income. Some have lost their sense of stability. And some are grieving what they had hoped and planned.
My work for nearly 20 years has been sitting with, and using art and poetry as tools to assist, those who are grieving and in the "in between" of a life transition. I know firsthand the power of shared, nonjudgemental brave space. So whereas this offering is not a traditional "support group" or a "therapy circle," my intention is that our time together will help give those who come an opportunity to be seen and held as a part of our collective and individual grieving journey.
There is no rushing grief. And sometimes we can't even understand it. In America, we are often taught to suppress the pain of grief, if not numb it, only to have it come up years later in what may be destructive ways. My hope is that we will take the time to be still, reflective, intentional about paying attention to the loss. It's heavy work, I know, but it is also necessary.
Join us as we take this time to creatively and bravely hold and share space!
Sage Chioma, CADC, CPS
Community Health Educator/Counselor/Poet
T. Sharee Fowler, PhD
Community facilitator & Assistant Professor/Director
Nonprofit Management & Community Leadership Program at Salem College
Carla Kucinski, LCMHCA
Owner of Space to Heal Counseling and Wellness, PLLC
Jacinta V. White
Poet/Facilitator/Coach
Owner of The Word Project, Publishing Editor of Snapdragon: A Journal of Art & Healing
What you can expect
Our 90-minutes together will begin in our "large circle" where I will lead us in an opening, grounding exercise. There will be brief introductions of the facilitators and reminder of "housekeeping." This time together will set the stage for what's to come.
Then, you will be placed in a small group based on the loss you identify in the RSVP form below (some groups will be capped). The majority of the time will be spent in these small groups to allow for more intimate sharing. Each facilitator will come up with their way of working with the group based on their experience and your needs. Some will give prompts in which all or some of you may be asked to respond. Some may have a brief writing activity. Some may ask you to share your story.
After your time sharing in your small group, we will come back together in our "large circle." Here, we will have time for brief reflections before hearing words as part of our closing.
In addition, we will follow up with participants via email with resources should they want to dive deeper or need support after our time together. This list of resources will be on our website, too.
And, yes, this is free and open to the public.
Our 90-minutes together will begin in our "large circle" where I will lead us in an opening, grounding exercise. There will be brief introductions of the facilitators and reminder of "housekeeping." This time together will set the stage for what's to come.
Then, you will be placed in a small group based on the loss you identify in the RSVP form below (some groups will be capped). The majority of the time will be spent in these small groups to allow for more intimate sharing. Each facilitator will come up with their way of working with the group based on their experience and your needs. Some will give prompts in which all or some of you may be asked to respond. Some may have a brief writing activity. Some may ask you to share your story.
After your time sharing in your small group, we will come back together in our "large circle." Here, we will have time for brief reflections before hearing words as part of our closing.
In addition, we will follow up with participants via email with resources should they want to dive deeper or need support after our time together. This list of resources will be on our website, too.
And, yes, this is free and open to the public.
By participating, you would be agreeing to:
We also encourage you to:
Disclaimer: The Virtual Grieving Circle is not a substitute for mental health treatment. Please let your current healthcare professional (e.g. doctor, counselor, etc.) know that you're participating in the group. This circle should not replace any mental or medical assistance you receive or need. The Word Project nor those volunteering as facilitators for the grieving circle are responsible for the words and conduct of others. Though our intention and work is to protect everyone involved, it is ultimately the responsibility of each individual to ensure their proper mental, emotional and physical care. If you don't think this circle is right for you but you feel the need for additional support at this time, please speak with your doctor or a counselor about other available resources in your community.
- Compassionately listen. Keep an open heart and ears. Not give advice to those who haven't asked. Share space with others instead of take space.
- Inclusive community. Release any judgements you might have of others based on race, religion, beliefs, age, gender, sexual identity, ability, and the like. We will not tolerate any hatred or discrimination as we create this community.
- Confidentiality. Share, if you desire to, with others outside of the circle what the experience was like for you but not what was said/shared by others. In addition, we will not record nor go live on social media with this event on social media and will expect the same from you.
We also encourage you to:
- Carve out time. Block this time on your calendar and commit to finding a quiet place, if possible, to be uninterrupted during the gathering (silence your phone, close apps on your computer, close the door).And to give yourself time afterwards to rest.
- Cancel. Let us know if you realized after you RSVP that you're not going to be able to make the gathering.
Disclaimer: The Virtual Grieving Circle is not a substitute for mental health treatment. Please let your current healthcare professional (e.g. doctor, counselor, etc.) know that you're participating in the group. This circle should not replace any mental or medical assistance you receive or need. The Word Project nor those volunteering as facilitators for the grieving circle are responsible for the words and conduct of others. Though our intention and work is to protect everyone involved, it is ultimately the responsibility of each individual to ensure their proper mental, emotional and physical care. If you don't think this circle is right for you but you feel the need for additional support at this time, please speak with your doctor or a counselor about other available resources in your community.
What you might want to bring to the grieving circle
Come comfortably dressed (we don't care if you're in your pjs) and consider having with:
Thank you and I hope to see you,
Jacinta
Come comfortably dressed (we don't care if you're in your pjs) and consider having with:
- Something to hold such as a stone, memento or an object that has special meaning to you (to help calm or feel grounded/supported)
- A box of tissues
- A tall glass of water
- A blanket or favorite sweater
- Pen and paper
Thank you and I hope to see you,
Jacinta
You will receive a confirmation email. And you will receive an email within 24 hours of the grieving circle with the Zoom link.
Wait
By Galway Kinnell
Wait, for now.
Distrust everything if you have to.
But trust the hours. Haven’t they
carried you everywhere, up to now?
Personal events will become interesting again.
Hair will become interesting.
Pain will become interesting.
Buds that open out of season will become interesting.
Second-hand gloves will become lovely again;
their memories are what give them
the need for other hands. The desolation
of lovers is the same: that enormous emptiness
carved out of such tiny beings as we are
asks to be filled; the need
for the new love is faithfulness to the old.
Wait.
Don’t go too early.
You’re tired. But everyone’s tired.
But no one is tired enough.
Only wait a little and listen:
music of hair,
music of pain,
music of looms weaving our loves again.
Be there to hear it, it will be the only time,
most of all to hear your whole existence,
rehearsed by the sorrows, play itself into total exhaustion.
Copyright © 1980 by Galway Kinnell. From Mortal Acts, Mortal Words (Mariner Books, 1980). Used with permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
By Galway Kinnell
Wait, for now.
Distrust everything if you have to.
But trust the hours. Haven’t they
carried you everywhere, up to now?
Personal events will become interesting again.
Hair will become interesting.
Pain will become interesting.
Buds that open out of season will become interesting.
Second-hand gloves will become lovely again;
their memories are what give them
the need for other hands. The desolation
of lovers is the same: that enormous emptiness
carved out of such tiny beings as we are
asks to be filled; the need
for the new love is faithfulness to the old.
Wait.
Don’t go too early.
You’re tired. But everyone’s tired.
But no one is tired enough.
Only wait a little and listen:
music of hair,
music of pain,
music of looms weaving our loves again.
Be there to hear it, it will be the only time,
most of all to hear your whole existence,
rehearsed by the sorrows, play itself into total exhaustion.
Copyright © 1980 by Galway Kinnell. From Mortal Acts, Mortal Words (Mariner Books, 1980). Used with permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.