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"Today's grieving circle was so very beautiful and necessary--I can't thank you enough for the good work you do. I was a little afraid to participate, having finally gotten my feet on solid ground just yesterday and fearing I would de-rail again, but the group turned out to be the perfect place to be today."
- a participant from the June 6 VGC |
With more than 200,000 US deaths due to Coronavirus, the increased injustices and deaths due to racism, with the constant unexpected losses that mount on the previous one, we can easily lose sight of hope and the gift of life. We believe it's important, therefore, that we create space to acknowledge grief, and therefore are hosting our second virtual grieving circle.
We don't pretend to have the answers or to believe we can fix anything or are in position to give advice, but as a brave step to honor our loss and the grieving process we believe there is something to sitting with where we are, breathing through it, writing through it, crying through it, collectively. We hope you feel the same and that you will join us in this brave soul care.
What we do know is that how we grieve has changed. We haven't been able to gather as usual during the mourning of a loved one. We are isolated and we find ourselves grieving "normalcy" and life pre-COVID. Some of us have lost work and income. Some have lost their sense of stability. And some are grieving what they had hoped and planned. Some are grieving all of it.
There is no rushing grief. And sometimes we can't even understand it. In America, we are often taught to suppress the pain of grief, if not numb it. The problem with this is that it come up years later, in what may be, destructive ways. Our hope is that we will take the time to be still, reflective, intentional about paying attention to the loss. It's heavy work, but it is also necessary.
Whereas this offering is not a traditional "support group" or a "therapy circle," the intention is that our time together will help give those who come an opportunity to be seen and held as a part of our collective and individual grieving journey.
Join us as we take this time to creatively and bravely hold and share space!
Sage Chioma, CADC, CPS
Community Health Educator/Counselor/Poet
T. Sharee Fowler, PhD
Community facilitator & Assistant Professor/Director
Nonprofit Management & Community Leadership Program at Salem College
Carla Kucinski, LCMHCA
Owner of Space to Heal Counseling and Wellness, PLLC
Jacinta V. White
Poet/Facilitator/Coach
Owner of The Word Project, Publishing Editor of Snapdragon: A Journal of Art & Healing
With music by Singing Ceremonialist, Ericka Lee
What you can expect
Our 90-minutes together will begin in our "large circle". There will be brief introductions of the facilitators and reminder of "housekeeping." This time together will set the stage for what's to come. We will share a prompt for which you can respond by writing or creating something visual. This isn't about producing a product but about allowing time and space for your grief to be processed through whatever art form speaks to you. There won't be enough time for you to complete a piece of work but we do hope this time will allow for you to exhale through meaningful practices.
Then, you will go into a small group (depending on how many we have) based on the loss you identify in the RSVP form below. These small groups will allow for more intimate sharing. Each facilitator will come up with their way of working with the group based on their experience and your needs.
After your time sharing in your small group, we will come back together in our "large circle." Here, we will have time for brief reflections before we go into our closing.
In addition, we will follow up with you via email with resources should you want to dive deeper or need additional support after our time together. This list of resources will be on our website, too.
And, yes, this is free and open to the public.
Our 90-minutes together will begin in our "large circle". There will be brief introductions of the facilitators and reminder of "housekeeping." This time together will set the stage for what's to come. We will share a prompt for which you can respond by writing or creating something visual. This isn't about producing a product but about allowing time and space for your grief to be processed through whatever art form speaks to you. There won't be enough time for you to complete a piece of work but we do hope this time will allow for you to exhale through meaningful practices.
Then, you will go into a small group (depending on how many we have) based on the loss you identify in the RSVP form below. These small groups will allow for more intimate sharing. Each facilitator will come up with their way of working with the group based on their experience and your needs.
After your time sharing in your small group, we will come back together in our "large circle." Here, we will have time for brief reflections before we go into our closing.
In addition, we will follow up with you via email with resources should you want to dive deeper or need additional support after our time together. This list of resources will be on our website, too.
And, yes, this is free and open to the public.
By participating, you would be agreeing to:
We also encourage you to:
Disclaimer: The Virtual Grieving Circle is not a substitute for mental health treatment. Please let your current healthcare professional (e.g. doctor, counselor, etc.) know that you're participating in the group. This circle should not replace any mental or medical assistance you receive or need. The Word Project nor those volunteering as facilitators for the grieving circle are responsible for the words and conduct of others. Though our intention and work is to protect everyone involved, it is ultimately the responsibility of each individual to ensure their proper mental, emotional and physical care. If you don't think this circle is right for you but you feel the need for additional support at this time, please speak with your doctor or a counselor about other available resources in your community.
- Compassionately listen. Keep an open heart and ears. Not give advice to those who haven't asked. Share space with others instead of take space.
- Inclusive community. Release any judgements you might have of others based on race, religion, beliefs, age, gender, sexual identity, ability, and the like. We will not tolerate any hatred or discrimination as we create this community.
- Confidentiality. Share, if you desire to, with others outside of the circle what the experience was like for you but not what was said/shared by others. In addition, we will not record nor go live on social media with this event on social media and will expect the same from you.
We also encourage you to:
- Carve out time. Block this time on your calendar and commit to finding a quiet place, if possible, to be uninterrupted during the gathering (silence your phone, close apps on your computer, close the door).And to give yourself time afterwards to rest.
- Cancel. Let us know if you realized after you RSVP that you're not going to be able to make the gathering.
Disclaimer: The Virtual Grieving Circle is not a substitute for mental health treatment. Please let your current healthcare professional (e.g. doctor, counselor, etc.) know that you're participating in the group. This circle should not replace any mental or medical assistance you receive or need. The Word Project nor those volunteering as facilitators for the grieving circle are responsible for the words and conduct of others. Though our intention and work is to protect everyone involved, it is ultimately the responsibility of each individual to ensure their proper mental, emotional and physical care. If you don't think this circle is right for you but you feel the need for additional support at this time, please speak with your doctor or a counselor about other available resources in your community.
What you might want to bring to the grieving circle
Come comfortably dressed (we don't care if you're in your pjs) and consider having with:
Thank you and I hope to see you,
Jacinta
Come comfortably dressed (we don't care if you're in your pjs) and consider having with:
- Something to hold such as a stone, memento or an object that has special meaning to you (to help calm or feel grounded/supported)
- A box of tissues
- A tall glass of water
- A blanket or favorite sweater
- Pen and paper
Thank you and I hope to see you,
Jacinta
You will receive a confirmation email. And you will receive an email within 24 hours of the grieving circle with the Zoom link.
Wait
By Galway Kinnell
Wait, for now.
Distrust everything if you have to.
But trust the hours. Haven’t they
carried you everywhere, up to now?
Personal events will become interesting again.
Hair will become interesting.
Pain will become interesting.
Buds that open out of season will become interesting.
Second-hand gloves will become lovely again;
their memories are what give them
the need for other hands. The desolation
of lovers is the same: that enormous emptiness
carved out of such tiny beings as we are
asks to be filled; the need
for the new love is faithfulness to the old.
Wait.
Don’t go too early.
You’re tired. But everyone’s tired.
But no one is tired enough.
Only wait a little and listen:
music of hair,
music of pain,
music of looms weaving our loves again.
Be there to hear it, it will be the only time,
most of all to hear your whole existence,
rehearsed by the sorrows, play itself into total exhaustion.
Copyright © 1980 by Galway Kinnell. From Mortal Acts, Mortal Words (Mariner Books, 1980). Used with permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
By Galway Kinnell
Wait, for now.
Distrust everything if you have to.
But trust the hours. Haven’t they
carried you everywhere, up to now?
Personal events will become interesting again.
Hair will become interesting.
Pain will become interesting.
Buds that open out of season will become interesting.
Second-hand gloves will become lovely again;
their memories are what give them
the need for other hands. The desolation
of lovers is the same: that enormous emptiness
carved out of such tiny beings as we are
asks to be filled; the need
for the new love is faithfulness to the old.
Wait.
Don’t go too early.
You’re tired. But everyone’s tired.
But no one is tired enough.
Only wait a little and listen:
music of hair,
music of pain,
music of looms weaving our loves again.
Be there to hear it, it will be the only time,
most of all to hear your whole existence,
rehearsed by the sorrows, play itself into total exhaustion.
Copyright © 1980 by Galway Kinnell. From Mortal Acts, Mortal Words (Mariner Books, 1980). Used with permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.